Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Rename Game

Ah, renamed movies.

We're all familiar with at least one. The best known one among horror fans at least: BRAINDEAD.
Renamed as Dead Alive in the U.S, it was harmless enough, but prompted much head scratching in the Australasia region.

 
 Same movie, changed titles. Why? 


Why rename it? Was Brain Dead not obvious enough? Did we really need to hammer it home by simplifying a simple title?

"Hey Jeff, want to see "Brain Dead"?"
"Is that a new comedy?"
"Not sure. Let's see Hostel instead. That title sounds like a European road trip movie!"

But it gets even more ridiculous from here.

To get the elephant in the room out of the way, yes, the U.S had Mad Max 2 titled "The Road Warrior" when it's actually called Mad Max 2. And the re-dubbed Mad Max accents sucked. Mistakes made. Moving on!

 
 Differences? Only visually. On the posters. 


Four Christmases right? WRONG! Four Holidays. Holidays? Wait...presents...pine tree...stockings...oh yeah, because everyone brings THOSE on vacations....
 
 CHRISTMASES Holidays! Really! See the gift boxes suitcases? 



Ice Cube in XXX : State of the Union. Nope! The Suits in charge decided that no-one outside of the U.S paid attention to what a State of the Union address was, despite the film having one, so they renamed it.

 
 Oh the stupidity... 


XXX 2: The Next Level. The hell? When did this become a video game?! Next thing you know Ice Cube'll be stealing cars and blowing up city blocks randomly with an R.P.G, taking the cash from the collaterally damaged.

American Wedding? Again, changed. They decided that the wedding suits and the bride in the poster were obvious enough, but thought no-one would know who the hell these people were. End result?

       
 NO, REALLY?! They're from THAT series?! 


American Pie: The Wedding. Feeling insulted by the simplification yet? I know I am.
(They even increased the size of the supporting cast for the benefit of the retarded foreigners.)

Shrek The Final Chapter becomes...

 
   No Sh[REK], really?  

...Shrek Forever After. We know what the phrase FINAL CHAPTER means you Armani Suited dullards!

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's The Rundown? Here's the Suits showing their intelligence:

 
 Oh for ROCK's sake... 


Welcome To The Jungle. Uh...Suits? You just renamed the movie after looking at the soundtrack for a second, didn't you?
(And the world DOES know what a rundown is. The new name comes off as cheesy, not to mention treating us like idiots. "LOOK! It's in a JUN-gle! JUN-gle!")

Oh but the best one is the Batman one. Batman Beyond, a brilliant animated series, was renamed with a real head-desker.

Batman Beyond becomes...

 
  I swear this isn't Photoshopped. 




...Batman of the Future.

Let that sink in.
And no, it's not just Germany and the rest of Europe. As proof, I offer the cover to the Playstation game!



A show, based in the future, with flying vehicles, technology use is rampant, Bruce Wayne is a grey haired grumpy old fart, and Alfred is likely dead.

Nooo, it MUST be present day Batman, surely. See? Bruce suits up and...



...oh wait, the villain handed Bruce's arse to him, and no, it's not Bane.
(Inque to be precise.)

Anyone who watches Batman Beyond and thinks it's based in a modern day setting needs to sign up for the short bus.

That was just a handful of renamed movies, the ones I could find at least. Here's hoping there's none left to be found, but hey. This IS Hollywood we're talking about.

Am I alone in thinking we all want to be treated like we're smart until proven stupid, and not the other way around?

Questions and comments below!
(And if you know more badly renamed movies, let me know about them and I'll do a follow up!)

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